My lords! My ladies. And everyone else here not sitting on a cushion!
Today....today....you find yourselves equals.
For you are all equally blessed. For I have the pride, the privilege, nay, the pleasure....of introducing to you a knight sired by knights. A knight who can trace his lineage back beyond Charlemagne.
I first met him atop a mountain near Jerusalem, praying to God, asking His forgiveness for the Saracan blood spilt by his sword. Next, he amazed me further still in Italy when he saved a fatherless beauty from the would-be ravishings of her dreadful Turkish uncle.
In Greece, he spent a year in silence....just to better understand the sound...of a whisper. And so, without further gilding the lily and with no more ado, I give to you, the Seeker of Serenity, the Protector of Italian Virginity, the Enforcer of our Lord God, the one, the only, SIR ULLLLLRICH VON LICHTENSTEIN!!
Good people, I missed my introduction. But please... Please I pray you, hear it now, for I would lay rest the grace in my tongue and speak plainly. Days like these are far too rare to cheapen with heavy handed words, and so, I'm afraid without any ado whatsoever... Excuse me My Lord... Here he is, one of your own, born a stone's throw from this very stadium, and here before you now, the son of John Thatcher... Sir Wiiiiiilliam Thatcheeer.